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Let Me Change One Thing

When I saw the questions for our Twitter Friends Tag, I have to admit my heart sank a bit. I saw the question …

If you could relive one day of your life again, what would it be and why?

… and I thought how am I going to answer that?

Sitting under a cloud of depression and anxiety, I just could not immediately think of a day I would like to repeat.

I was imagining all sorts of Groundhog Day scenarios and it was causing me some stress.

However, if you have read the post you will know that I did manage to find a sensible answer.

I would like to go back to the first day of my first ever boating holiday.

That holiday was the start of something big for me. It made such an incredible impression, that, when asked what my dream life would be, I always reply “to live on a boat” …

We went on to have many boating holidays and each one offered new adventures. Different boats, different locations, different crew, but always reigniting that passion. Boating is under my skin.

I am usually happiest when near water, which is why most of my YouTube videos have water in them somewhere. To be near boats, especially narrowboats, is just heaven.

That very first boating holiday was actually a boat on the Norfolk Broads. It was an amazing adventure. My brother and I could help with steering the boat, learn the ropes, trail our little plastic boats in the river, climb, jump, balance along the edge of the boat (much to Mum’s concern), watch the ever changing scenery, be close to nature. Every day was different and exciting, and we had no fear. That was key I suppose.

Adult life comes along and spoils things. We learn things about the world that we wish we didn’t know.

I want to look at that question another way now. The alternative answer, where it occurred to me that I could choose a different day to live again, and maybe change the events.

Just before Christmas 2005, I discovered my child had cancer. It was three days after his sixth birthday. Up until that day we had been told that he had tonsillitis. After many weeks of being unwell he had an emergency scan, and that showed that he had a massive tumour in his sinus cavity.

Many things have happened since that day and I would not want to change everything. I always think of Doctor Who and time travel back in time. The characters often have to preserve historical events, because just one tiny change could be catastrophic to the world.

But. Please. Let me change one thing. Let it be tonsillitis. Everything else can happen. Just not cancer.

Thank you for reading

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0 thoughts on “Let Me Change One Thing”

  1. So much love to you Marie, this must have been so hard to write. You are such a strong person and I’m so glad I get to know you through this blogging thing we do. Thank you for sharing this with us xx

    1. Thank you Katie. I’m glad to be part of the group and getting to know everyone is good. Being able to share things like this on my blog is going to help me get even stronger again I hope. Thank you for your kind comment. Lots of love xx

  2. I’m crying typing this, I know how hard this was for you to write. I’m so sorry you and your family have had to go through this. I wish I could go back with you and help you change it. Love to you xxx

  3. Oh, Marie! I’m sending so much love your way!! I know this had to have been incredibly difficult to write and share, but everyone who reads it will be enriched by it! You are an amazing mom, and your love for you son shines through in the post. 💓💓💓

      1. Paula |The Value of a Moment

        I’m confident you make things better for him every day just by being his loving Mom! ❤️❤️❤️

  4. You are so brave! I am crying but I know you must have felt some incredible pain, you are so strong and I only hope I can be as strong and brave in the struggles of motherhood. If we could kick cancers ass I’d be by your side every step!
    All my love xxx

    1. Thank you Emm. It’s not what you expect as a parent. Once was bad enough. Twice was just awful. So yes I’d love for us to kick the ass of cancer forever. Love and hugs and I hope your little girl is feeling better soon xx

  5. I can see why this was such a hard question to answer for you Marie. I did not have much to say about that question but rather because nothing exciting really happened for me. It must’ve been painful to recall when writing this but thank you for giving us the chance to read a bit about your past. Wishing you and your family happiness and love xx

  6. I know this was so hard for you to share. That question was a little hard for me too and I decided not to look too much into it. I’m sorry that you and your family were affected by this horrible thing, it’s hard to find someone that it hasn’t affected nowadays. I wish you and your family all the love, health and happiness. I know you dedicate this blog as a legacy to your son, and I am so excited for him to know how much his mum loves him. You’re fab, Marie. So much love! Lav x

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