Friends in Need

Your friend is in crisis, and you want to help, but you don’t know how?

If you have been in crisis yourself, then you probably do have some idea of the kind of help that might be appreciated by your friend in need. However, if you are sailing through, winning at life, this might be a handy post.

It’s easy to say “I am here if you need me” or “let me know if I can help” – but friends in crisis will rarely follow this up. Try to make yourself available to listen, either in person over a cup of tea/coffee, or by telephone at a specific time; “I will call you on Monday,” or “Let’s have coffee on Tuesday,” for instance. Alternatively, send a message, saying, “Are you ok? Do you need to talk?” and then make sure that you do really have time to listen, so that you don’t have to cut the conversation short to rush off.

If you want to offer practical help, then again, be specific. From my own experience, and through talking to others, the sorts of things that your friend may need help with are:

  • the school run
  • basic food shopping
  • a simple meal that can just be reheated
  • passing on messages
  • a lift to or from somewhere
  • looking after a pet

These things often don’t take up much time from our day, but to a friend who is juggling a difficult situation, these daily tasks can often seem overwhelming, so you would be helping to lighten the load, until they can carry on themselves again.

Was there a time when you were grateful for someone’s help? What did they do to make your life easier?

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5 Responses

  1. Geraldine says:

    I appreciated reading this. It’s easy to say but hard to DO or follow up. If people aren’t available to listen or take time to do something then I personally think it’d be better to be silent. But it is very important that we try to make time to listen to our friends or loved ones!

  2. [ Smiles ] If you are really a person’s friend, you should be with them not only in the good times, but in the bad times as well.

    That was a very thoughtful post, Marie-Céline.

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