At the time of writing this I am feeling pretty rough, worse than normal. I always struggle with the month of September, partly because it is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, but also because it feels like the run up to Christmas (yes sorry- that word already) has started. Mixed memories of the festive season are hard.
I really do feel that I am bashing my head against the proverbial wall with posts about Childhood Cancer. Everyone has their own causes I know, and it has hit me hard this week that I am preaching to the converted. Mainly, the people who show any interest in my posts are the ones who have been affected by cancer, either directly or indirectly. However, these people may also be struggling with raw emotions and don’t want to be saturated with more stories, more information than they can process. It is rare to get any interaction with anyone on this subject.
October is traditionally pink for Breast Cancer, and the well established campaign starts early and eats into September. We have to shout even louder about going Gold for Childhood Cancer, while profile pictures all around us turn pink from now onwards. It is not a competition, and I am not saying that people shouldn’t support Breast Cancer awareness; I just wish people could do both!
It is very isolating, even after all this time, feeling different to parents of healthy children. Thinking back to my post about finding the positives, I know that my best support network is from my family, close friends and my group of fellow “cancer parents” (especially my ROAR ladies – a group of Mums who all have sons who had the same surgery). Having something in common is what makes us stronger and lessens the feelings of isolation.
Yesterday, I found Jen’s blog and it was so lovely to have a conversation with her. She really lifted my spirits. I discovered that she had the same surgeon as my son. I promised her that my next blog post would be amusing, as I had planned to write about our trip to audiology. Unfortunately, waking up with this cloud over me, I have decided to leave it until I can give it the justice it deserves, sorry Jen! In fact, I am going to have a short break from all my Childhood Cancer posts for a while, as I am just finding it too difficult to think and write about, even though I said before that I felt it was helping. My therapist took a two week break recently, and I think my mood may also be caused by not having my regular therapy sessions.
I would like to thank my friends in the blogosphere as well at this point as my Childhood Cancer posts do get the occasional like from them – I do appreciate the acknowledgement.
I shall still be publishing daily, so please look out for my new posts, either in the WordPress reader or in your inbox if you subscribe by email. Keep blogging!